This experience has changed the way I view both myself as a teacher and teaching in general. When I signed up to take FNED my expectations were different than what it ended up being. I just assumed that because the class was called foundations of education that we would be learning like basic teaching methods and so on. What I found it to be was a completely different experience than the idea I had going into it. I was very excited when I learned that we were going to be placed in schools to observe and help out a classroom. My experience led me to being a reading buddy at and elementary school in Providence. I was nervous about what to expect and even more nervous about if I could actually help these kids. While the environment in both the kindergarten and first grade classrooms I tutored in was somewhat chaotic, I enjoyed playing the different reading games with the kids in my group. This was definitely and eye-opening experience when I reflected and looked back comparing what I remember my elementary school days to be like and what these children were currently experiencing.
The other day after my tutoring in Providence I went to Henry Barnard school to do a snowflake activity with a first grade classroom there. I was amazed at how well behaved and attentive they were. For the rest of the day I was reflecting on my experience at both schools and amazed at how it was like two different worlds. I am sure at the Henry Barnard school there is hardly ever a teacher that walk out on a class mid-year and probably quite a few teachers aspiring to work there. One day in my kindergarten class at the Providence elementary school there were about 6 or 7 kids from another kindergarten class sent into stay with my class because they could not find a substitute to cover it. One of the little girls was placed into my reading group and after she sat down she said "My teacher is gone". I tried to reassure her that her teacher was probably just sick and would be back later in the week. She then went on to correct me by saying "No she's not coming back she said she couldn't deal with these people anymore and she left". I was a little taken aback and unsure of how to respond to this little girl whose teacher had just abandon her and her classmates. The little girl was not that upset about the situation, but the fact that that teacher left sends a message to all of those little kids that they are not good enough to stay around for.
This particular experience reminded of Jonathon Kozol's speech. At one point he was talking about how many of these inner city schools will go through several teachers a year because the teachers aren't prepared or able to deal with the challenges. Not that I didn't believe Mr. Kozol because he was very good at presenting his case, but at that moment when that little girl told me her teacher left and wasn't coming back it became a reality for me. It was like I had actually in some way had experienced the exact situation that Mr. Kozol was working toward solving was real in my world now. I cannot really imagine being a teacher who walks out on her students. After that day I made a promise to myself that when I am a teacher I wouldn't give up on my students and try to the best of my ability to impact their lives in a positive way.
I would definitely say that this experience has helped to define my teacher identity. I'm not sure before I took this course that I had a teacher identity. Taking this class and volunteering in Providence schools has helped me to realize what kind of teacher I need to be in order to actually make a difference and improve the lives of my students. There are too many elements of that to name but they are securely placed in my mind and I plan to carry them with me along the path of my teaching experience.
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Hi Ashley!
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I liked about your blog the most was how positive you are dealing with FNED and the VIPS tutoring process. It is good to know that you were excited about this experience. In doing so, you helped so many students that needed help with learning. Do you think that your experience would have been the same if you helped out the class as a whole instead of tutoring a certain number of kids in one group?
Yes, I agree when you said “This was definitely an eye-opening experience when I reflected and looked back comparing what I remember my elementary school days to be like and what these children were currently experiencing.” When you go into two different schools you will find many different learning strategies and behavior aspects of the students. The differences tend to pop out especially when you look back upon your elementary school days. What was your elementary school days like? Were they anything like what you experienced while tutoring? I am sure you have your own stories to tell!
When I read what you wrote dealing with the teacher walking out on a class mid-year at the Providence Elementary School it brought confusion to my mind. To me, if you want to be a teacher in the first place you need to have patience along with many other important qualities. Children will be children and yes they do get rowdy, but that behavior is normal to them. It is amazing how the children pick up on these types of issues so quickly. They remember every action and every word said within the classroom. By hearing the child say that her teacher said she was not coming back because she could not deal with “these people” anymore is quite shocking. What do you think she is trying to say when she said “these people”? Do you think she is referring to the students or the school community as a whole? Woah, that’s crazy. I honestly would not know what to say to the child. I think you did the right thing by trying to tell the little girl that her teacher was just probably sick and would be back later in the week. Even though the little girl did not show that she was emotionally not upset, she might have been holding in her real feelings towards the situation. I agree to what you said dealing with the message the teacher said to her students before she left the classroom for good. The students need confidence, not let downs especially coming from their teacher.
This was a great connection to Jonathan Kozol’s speech! I believe this was a good connection because some teachers leave their certain school year to year. Teachers should be prepared for challenges within a classroom. To be a well-rounded teacher, one must look past the little things that make them upset and come to conclusion why they are really teaching students that are in need of an education. By experiencing this little girl coming up to you and telling you that her teacher was gone for good would definitely be an eye-opening experience for anyone. Just to know that this particular teacher walked out on his/her class is like ones role model putting one down. A teacher should be seen to his/her students as a positive role model in whom the student can seek help from.
I am glad to hear you have defined your teacher identity because of this experience. What would be an example of your teacher identity? Is it what you expected? It is great to hear that you are willing to make a difference and improve the lives of students.
Never give up!